In the dark moments of getting your heart broken, you get to re-evaluate your life. Well, at least I can speak for myself here. This wasn't the first time my heart was broken, and who knows if it will be the last. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, and I like it..... But I know that it was a shock to me on all levels of my being, and it actually made me hide for a couple of months while I had to go through this emotional roller coaster of life. For a moment I thought I had it all figured out, my life, what I was going to become, what I wanted, but in an instant I was forced to change all my plans. Looks like the universe had different plans for me and my path. I was forced to face myself, and the lies I built up around a partnership that was only one sided. Give, give give, give and really no take from my side, and you know what I was tired of always giving pieces of myself to not only a person, but an entire tribe of people in the Amazon, with not any gratitude in response to all I had done for them. The truth is, no relationship will ever be simple, but I could have probably picked an easier route than dating someone from the complete opposite lifestyle, on a completely different continent, well in the middle of the jungle, not even speaking my first language. So, communication barriers was just the beginning of the hard times I had to go through with this one, but there were beautiful moments too, and now I am grateful for all I have learned from that intercultural exchange. A piece of me will always be there in the middle of the jungle. You see, for me fighting for woman rights and the divine feminine on the planet, it was a shock to go into an indigenous culture that still sees their woman as tools. The woman do all the work, wash all the dishes, wash all the clothing, skin the animals, carry the water multiple times a day, and last but not least take care of all the children. And for the first time in my life I was finally proud to say, that I was born an American, and for a good reason too. I have a lot of work to be done here as a woman, and in a lot of other countries in the world, woman are not yet given the respect that they deserve. It was shocking to me, because we idolize these cultures from here, but in actuality I would never want to live that way, unless they started treating their woman with more respect. The medicines are taking a turn right now, and I experienced this first hand. I thought that it was about partnership, and maybe it is, but the turn showed me that it is not only indigenous people who hold the key to this awakening with the sacred medicines of the Amazon. Sure, they are the key holders, the knowledge holders, but when coming into the outside world, they have a lot of problems, they don't know how to eat, they don't know how to express themselves, and they don't understand our society. This is where the medicine decided to expand herself in such a way that she could reach the millions of people across the globe that she has been reaching right now. When I finally realized that my mission was to work alone, or with other like minded people, it was hard to accept, because I had built such a pedestal around the fact that the medicines should be worked with an indigenous person, that I had to shatter my own expectations in order to continue my own path, and that shit fucking hurt, and it still does sometimes. I had to question myself daily, as to why now it was up to me to continue what I started with someone who was no longer in the picture anymore. I was use to being behind the scenes, and just translating to everyone, but I wasn't pushed to speak my own opinions, or show my own growth, until the moment of truth came, and all the spirits started to warn me that I needed to start believing in myself more, because the time is going to come where I am going to have to work alone. And when they started to tell me this, I didn't want to listen, I was comfortable being the medium for someone else to do the work, and don't get me wrong I was helping and learning the whole time, but there were different plans written in the stars for me. It was a harsh awakening to have to face my own responsibility now, and it took me about 4 months to process what was even going on. I could barely see anybody for the first two of those month's. But I kept going where spirit was taking me, even though it hurt me so so much, I knew my power was in the path, and in the prayers, in the fire, and in the elements. I recognized my connection with all that is, and all that will ever be, and they wanted me to be the messenger not for a tribe in the middle of the amazon, but for the entire planet right now. I was limiting myself to only working for the benefit of one tribe, when this mission should have been global. This mission goes beyond anything I can even explain with mere words, but I am trying here. This is a time of renewal, reawakening, and where we need it most happens to be in the big cities, the crowded places that I am use too, that I was born in for a reason. It's not easy for an indigenous person to keep leaving their homes, their families, their sacred lands, because that is where they have their power. So if you do meet, and sit with an indigenous person, show them all the respect you can because for them being away from their families is a really big deal. Now for me, I have always been a global minded human being, I'm capable of going anywhere and making myself feel at home. And thats what is needed right now, people need connection. I'm on a path, just as we all are, but the path is spiritual and the result is truth, light, and growth. My person, and my being has always been a little bit complicated, and in between worlds, but I was born that way in order to bridge the worlds that are too come. And sometimes we can't be held back by anybody, or anything because our mission goes beyond what we can ever even imagine. So thank you, for breaking my sensitive heart, because now I'm able to feel everyones pain, and I able to feel the earth in a new way. And I also see myself in a new light, thank you.